That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
He doesn't need a wingman, he needs a miracle
Well apparently "don't come inside of me" wasn't one of the English phrases he understood! On the bright side... At least he will get his green card for having an american kid!
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
He has no idea I'm scrolling through Instagram while he's going down on me. I'm so bored.
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
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