I want to have your abortion
he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
Randomize
