Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
and this is why I hate my dad. He got 25x more angry with me when I wanted to drive a different route then he suggested to get to his house (more scenic- thus more enjoyable) then he did when I told him I was driving drunk with 4 people in the car and I got my 5th speeding ticket last night.
Because when I say 'You shouldn't drink anymore', she hears, 'I personally challenge you to chug 3 more mixed drinks'
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
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