think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
woke up with peach flovored chap stick on my taint ! dont ask why i know it was peach
i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
Sometimes I wonder why I hang out with you. And then you show up half naked at my door with a half gal of vodka, and I remember why.
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
The lady at Walgreens was all excited my pregnancy tests had a coupon.
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
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