she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught.
Four. Poor grandma...
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
im just laying here pukin in my mouth and swallowing it 'cause im WAY too lazy to actually get up and find a place to vomit. this is my life now.
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
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