No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"
Is it awkward to ask someone I've slept with to officiate my wedding?
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
You know what's worse than asking for the morning after pill? Asking for the morning after pill in a sketchy hospital in a foreign country where no one speaks English.
I don't know whether to call the hospital or call the prison first.
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
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