I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
I walked into the kitchen and twelve of them were just staring at the oven. Freshmen are the weirdest drunks ever.
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
You fell out of his top bunk onto his set of golf clubs. After seeing blood on your leg, you proceeded to sing "the first cut is the deepest" while sprawled on the golf clubs
Randomize
