Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
Thing I said while arguing: I want to be single again so that I can have pizza and dick rained down upon me.
Pulling out all the stops on being a lady.
I swear to god little potato creatures live inside Belvedere bottles and claw at your throat as you swallow shots.
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
My mom wants to know what to send you in a care package. She used cat emojis, so you know it's serious
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
Randomize
