I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
Can i not drive my cunt home
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
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