hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
I'm too hungover for some lady to talk to me about potatoes
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
Yeah man it sucked balls. People on the bus probably thought I was fucking crazy. I was fetal position, taking up two seats with no shame whilst simultaneously panting.
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
I’ve cut back on drinking and now my body can’t fight off all the bad germs without the alcohol. That’s why I keep getting sick
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
Randomize
