she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
I almost just texted "I'm lonely" to my gynecologist.
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
I'm actually glad the whole thing's over now. It's exhausting to fake a pregnancy.
Imagine not having to fake it.
Yeah, I should never have kids, probably.
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