the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
I thought I was pretty much sober now but then I realized I've been eating scrambled eggs with my hands...
Also I want everyone to be drunk at my funeral. Instead of wearing black just blackout. That way everyone can celebrate how fun I was
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
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