Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
When I masturbate I pretend my dick is the slap chop an I'm destroying vegtables. Do you think that's a eating disorder?
I'm destined to be knocked up by a sailor
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
Randomize
