you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
The cop busted in, made the music stop, and goes "GUYS LISTEN UP! DRINK, DO DRUGS, HAVE UNPROTECTED SEX, I DONT GIVE A FUCK, JUST QUIET DOWN!" Best. Cop. Ever.
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
Randomize
