In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
Imagine a baby lion feeding on an injured gazelle and it tasting fresh blood for the first time. That's me and this breakfast sammich
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
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