There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
you were so high you spent the rest of the night smelling pepper to prove you can sneeze with your eyes open
Yeah apparently i got lonely because everyone was hooking up so i took matters into my own hands. I woke up on the floor spooning a vaccuum cleaner, a mop, 40 paper cups, and industrial grade detergent.
the room spins SO much faster in panama
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
You 2012 self promised me that you would do LSD with me, and it's 2015 now. So.
Plus, I'm basically a doctor, so what could go wrong.
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
Randomize
