i just ordered a pitcher of margaritas for me and a friend but she called and canceled. oh well, looks like im getting trashed alone.
the waiter who hardly speaks english told me "i go get your medicine now"
this medicine is soooo good.
Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
When Vanessa's kindergarten teacher called me in because she was caught with her hand down some boys pants in the bathroom, I knew you babysat last week.
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
Randomize
