I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
all he gave me for my birthday was sperm
at least its a homemade gift
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
Must be January. Theres a fat chick on an elliptical wearing khaki capris. Someone doesnt own any workout clothes
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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