that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
What part of don't open in front of your kids didn't you understand? Astroglide, magnums, fuzzy handcuffs and a blindfold are going to be hard to explain as friends presents.
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
I snuck in through the doggy door to get his vodka. Do you think my ex will know?
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
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