I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
Uhm... Found a ziploc bag... In the freezer. Sam, thought it was lemonade. Why did you make frozen piss at my house, again?
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
if I hear Wonderful Christmastime one more time I'm putting my foot up Paul McCartney's ass.
Randomize
