just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
There can only be one screw up per family and I was here first. Get your shit together bro
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
Its not often you get to say, "The security guard at my job is my new drug dealer," but as of last night, I get to say it.
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
And my cousin was so drunk he called an uber and instead he got into a cop car and they took him to the hospital
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
Well I didn't spend $7 on an Uber just to get limp dick
Randomize
