It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
Randomize
