dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
It took me 40.8 seconds to take a dump at her house, I know because I timed myself.
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
so...the lady doing my pedi totally noticed the human bite marks on my calf. Who says marriage ends your sex life? Love u!
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
Randomize
