I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
So when's a good time this week to show up at your apartment in nothing but a trench coat and a bow? Y'know. Hypothetically.
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
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