I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
probably shouldnt have written that paper while wasted, its starts with once upon a time
i tried to stop you but you kept shouting "two birds with one stone!"
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
A reminder in my phone just went off saying, "Fuck.On.Roof- the Great Bambino". This makes me excited and slightly nervous.
Randomize
