Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
Randomize
