Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
Shit. We're going to have to drink until they're cute
Hello cirrhosis
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
So I wake up to my ex girlfriends underwear hanging from the ceiling fan and the only thing i can think of is "what time is the game"
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
Randomize