I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
My tinder date had to be home by 8:30 cause she's on house arrest.
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
Randomize
