how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
I want to apologize but I don't know how. Do I just say "sorry for OD'ing on your couch"? I think that just sounds weird.
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
This is the high leading the old right now
Bitch looked at my dick and said "I thought they called you horsecock, I'm already disappointed"
I told you that line would get her home never said it was a good idea
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
You realize that if you get murdered while we're talking, I'm gonna have to explain to your next of kin why the last thing on your phone is a picture of my boobs.
Just wore the promise ring dad gave me freshman year of high school as a fake wedding band while I bought a pregnancy test. I think it's safe to say that's not what he had in mind with that gift 14 years ago.
Randomize
