so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
My mom said she was relieved to see that I'd gained some weight bc she's "always worried" that I might have AIDS.
you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
Just so you know the unusual amount of skittles on your floor is entirely your own fault. You bought me 20 bags of them while I was high.
I really hope you didn't eat the bowl of melted vanilla ice cream I left on the coffee table. Because it is not melted vanilla ice cream.
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
Randomize
