Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
life is all about the fine print - all i wanted was a fucking pony.
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
Randomize
