Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
I wish you could order shots online.
Dude I just masturbated laying underneath my Christmas tree. Apparently all I want for Christmas is to get laid.
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
He stopped me mid-blow job to say that his new year's resolution was to stop hooking up. MID FUCKING BLOW JOB.
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
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