I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
I'm saying "I told you so" now so that I don't slow down to say it on the way to grab the fire extinguisher
Randomize
