i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
i just made mint juleps with bourbon and fresh breath strips. i am the macgyver of alcohol.
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
All my friends are getting married and I'm pole dancing in a tattoo shop. I don't know how I feel about this.
They spent thousands on one day. You made $76 in 30 minutes. You should feel great about that.
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
Randomize
