I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
Randomize