He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
Randomize
