dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
Can I color on your dick again?
Bailing my boss from jail at five in the morning.. If thats not a promotion I don't what is.
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
They sent him a photo of me smoking a bong whilst wearing the dinosaur head. I think that's the last we hear of his nonsmoking fitness freak ass 🤷🏼♀️
So unofficially, he told me he deleted tinder because of me. I think that's a pretty romantic gesture in 2018.
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