shes about as inviting as chlamydia
If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
Just pulled an upper-decker at a hardware store. I believe I'm winning 8-2. It's obvious you don't shit enough in public.
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
He pulled out, and the resulting cumstain on my sheets is in the shape of a fetus. The irony of this is both awesome and terrifying.
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
The ONLY reason I am doing laundry is because all my sweatpants are dirty.
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
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