I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
Randomize
