It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
This morning I saw a frozen puddle in front of my RA's door and I laughed, assuming someone poured water in hopes that she would slip and fall. That's when my roommate told me I had peed there last night. Thank you Captain Morgan!
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
Randomize
