the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
The little girl I'm babysitting is having a tea party, the water and chips she's passing out are doing wonders for my hangover.
Just called the boss a "cunt baguette". To her face. This is why I can't drink with people from work. Know of anywhere that's hiring?
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
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