i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
She calls her new ritual "bed, bath, and beyond crunk". Hence why I found her passed out in my bath tub this morning.
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
vagina is talking i cant
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
You're never gonna guess who's blood is on my shirt
Why do I feel like I really don't want to hear the end of this...
In other news, I tore a tendon in my hand from giving my boyfriend handjobs so that's how my day is going
this morning's inventory: a top hat, two empty bottles of everclear, half a slim jim, cigars, tiara, pot necklace, and some fishnets. and that's just my purse.
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
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