He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
At the hospital. Forgot we locked Eric out of the house last night as a joke. Hypothermia's a bitch.
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
Shit ive learned: when going out to a party, always wear a bathing suit underneath just in case theres a pool with a roof next to it
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
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