Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
Life is so much better when you know you're gonna get laid soon.
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
Shaving my legs with an ankle monitor on is surprisingly more difficult than the drunk driving that got me here
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
Randomize
