I'm timing the release of my poops to the sound of the machine gun from the video game he's playing in the living room.
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
I have a bottle of vodka wrapped in a leg warmer in my purse. This is what it takes to get through Christmas with my family.
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
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