Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
Whenever you feel bad about your life, just remember the time I tried to swim while high and thought for a minute I was genuinely drowning
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
Let's get this straight. I am six fucking feet tall. Do you even understand how limited my options in guys to date are? No. Did you see my last three boyfriends? I looked like a fucking giant next to them. So I will fuck this six-foot-seven Italian model even if I am the ugliest girl at this party because, goddammit, I deserve to.
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
Randomize