Did Neil Armstrong say the moon was too far away! NO! He built himself a fucking rocketship is what he did!
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
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