Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
shotgunning a bud heavy is like shotgunning a turkey sandwich
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
My high school reunion is Thursday so I need to find an outfit that says "Haha, you got fat and I got tits. Suck it, bitches."
They took my balls.
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
Randomize
