Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
It's a pity Stephen Hawking can't do sarcasm.
my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
you started petting my head and said "there there, majestical unicorn. it won't be long before we get you back to neverland."
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
The real estate's complaint had the words "loud squealing at 2am" in it. Then I remembered that was me spoon feeding you guys old potato salad while you screeched like baby birds. Great night.
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
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