Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
What part of "waking up in the crawl space of my house with a raccoon" sounds like a good night to you?
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
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