I didn't slap you in the face. TEQUILA slapped you with my hand...
discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
The cab driver was nice enough to let you finish your beer in the car, but you crossed the line when you started to pee in the empty bottle
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
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