I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
There should be an app that tazers me in my pocket when I'm spending too much money at the bar. Take a hint, Android Network. You slut.
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
Apparently I really was petting a bunny named lazarus in Jimmy Johns last night.
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
My dad just said "fuck circus"
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
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