Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
That's it, I refuse to live in a world where sparkly vampires beat Batman at anything.
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
As punishment for throwing up on my car, I am holding your phone hostage until the morning. You can read this message after I drop it off.
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
At the start of the night I was all 'come at me universe' and three hours later I was ordering an extra large pizza in bed in the dress I had gone out in. Well played universe.
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
don't judge my taste in strippers
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
I just got out of a $280 speeding ticket by acting like The Big Lebowski. Seriously Jeff Bridges is the man.
Randomize
