Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
Seriously? What part of meeting at Oktoberfest while I'm wearing a dirndl, double fisting, and making out with random guys screams "i'm girlfriend material"?!
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
If I ever write a memoir I'm thinking "Choosing to sit in a vat of shit" would fit
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
Randomize