i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
The guy who took my order at mcdonalds asked for my number. I think we should start fucking fast food employees, they're easy and think we're goddesses.
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
Im sleeping in your bed. Sorry for the sand and the noise and the loud people. Im starving
Your blankets are not drunk friendly
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
Hate my fucking roommates.... Seriously, who the FUCK peels potatoes in the bathroom sink?!
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