My Blind Date Arrived. She looks like something I'd draw with my left hand.
Mom found my vibrator. all the said was 'wow, I've never seen one like this before.'
we don't live in the stone age anymore, mom
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
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