You're my little dorito
Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
I filled this oven with as much Pizza as I could, and I've been eating out of it for three days.
Just ate the last piece. Refilling the oven.
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
Randomize
