before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
Sober me is really good at getting to the airport on time. Drunk me is really good at shitting my pants. Do you know how much pants cost at the airport????
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
That moment that random you banged behind the bar is going to be your son's third grade teacher... yup I'm there.
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
Randomize
