Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
I IMAGINED YOU YELLING SURPRISE WITH JAZZ HANDS. AND I LOVE YOU FOREVER
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
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