I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
Bartender at the wedding asked if he was making my drinks too strong. I laughed at him.
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
I found her in my pantry with her shirt off twerking...I tapped her on the shoulder and she said she was giving Chef Boyardee a show and to give her a minute...
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
Randomize
