Bad news: I had to be at work at 7:15. Good news: no one had used the bathroom yet so I got to defile a freshly cleaned stall
Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
How's work?
Spinning.
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
I found my keys in the basement freezer. Drunk me is a sneaky little bastard.
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
The only times we have to apologize in this friendship is when you intentionally punch me and that's only happened once so it's okay
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
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