It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
Just figured out why my bed smells like weed: I just found a bowl in my pillow case?
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
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