i just noticed 4 flies in my red wine. i drank them.
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
Sober December ended when I found beer behind my bed...I lost $2000 but spent 6 hours sober. Meet me at the bar?
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
Randomize
